Oh well

Is been another quite sometime since I last posted. No one comes here anyway I guess so it should not make any different. I am hoping you could stumble upon here and read whatever I've writing though.

Time check: 3.35am. Another sleepless. Reason why I am here is because I need some space to pen down my thoughts that I think is not suitable for it appear on other social websites anymore.

I don't know how to describe this pain at heart. It is literally pain (those which brings you great discomfort) like the sore you get when someone/something starts turning and twisting your heart. I was just playing candy crush and I recalled what happened. Tears just fall uncontrollably. Hello. Is only been 2 days and I am just this weak. I have got no motivation or determination to put all these behind me. What I can do is just endure the pain day by day.

I bet those who tried before definitely knows how sucky is the feeling of crying to sleep. I can't seems to fall asleep every night even though I din nap.

I've really got nothing to say or do about you anymore.

如果有一天我们在街上碰见了， 你会怎么样?

若是我的话，我会强忍眼泪 对你微笑吧.

Happiest

Hmmmm. So what brought me here is that .. i woke up 5am this morning when i slept at 10pm then i decided to look back at my blog entries to see how awesome/dumb/happy/sad/depressed was I in the past few months.

yuppppp. i have finished the most dreaded itp/fyp and all the exams in my poly life. so technically i am just waiting to graduate (ignore that 2 ICA modules we have yet to clear) and this brings us to the title.. happiest.. i may be happiest person in the world since there's no more worry and stress.. but yea.. depends on your definition of happy. To me, happy is no longer the same without you.. it always feel something is lacking in my life.

should i reveal what wishes i made for the year 2012 during my new year service? it is told that we can make 3 wishes in the presence of God, and it shall be granted to us.. less than 15 days left till the end of this year and seems like nothing's been fulfilled yet.. but i shall keep on believing .. so much can happen on a day.. let alone 15 days, right? hahaha (keeping up the positivity) maybe i will reveal at the very last day of 2012.. be it fulfilled or not.. not a promise though :D

and actually before this entry, there's another one (is still under draft) which i sort of started it but don't wanna carry on.. can't really think of the reason why.. but perhaps thinking, it might not reach to you.. (or u may stop coming here or u may just read and forget etc.. ) and that will defeat the whole purpose isn't?

Hmmmm.. do you know.. my definition of happy could be really simple? maybe it's just an unexpected text from you or some simple gesture that you show that you care. you have no idea how such a seemingly insignificant thing (to you, perhaps?) meant so much to me. but.. it's often so short-lived. which i don't know why ..

p/s: i am not sure what should i do to reach to you.. or in fact to your heart.. i always wanted to know what happened down there.. what are you thinking at any moment. but other than pitch darkness, there's nothing i can see. is it because it's just me? whom u are still unwilling to open up to. i am always unsure and confused.. and every single time.. when i am determined and you just came running back.. is it a kind of prank or joke? and you definitely know i am not in this game anymore since i been losing right at the first place.

It's always said that 'silence is the scariest thing' and that is when communication break down. maybe i am just being too pushy in getting some answers all the times. but my kind of mindset is .. if i don't say it, i may regret for life. don't you have things that you want to say and don't you have any regrets bout them?

maybe.. you really don't ..

sometimes, i really laugh at myself for being so absurd and dumb. i always thought that i am so rational in handling things.. but definitely not when it comes to this..

Oh God.. still believing ..

Hi :)

While waiting for the peeps to accept my game request, I shall do a quick update on this little space of mine :D

Oh well, almost 4 months have passed and another 3 more to go for this really mentally and physically draining ITP D: we are almost there and let's just hang in there..

so currently, i have earned myself a new title of 'gamer girl' LOL! because i have been obsess with this moba (multiplayer online battle arena) game named LoL ! most gamer will know in full , it's called League of Legends.. just like the already popular DoTA and HoN ! i personally prefer LoL cause of its nicer graphic, nicer character and easy interface .. (oh gosh.. it's becoming like a game review.. )

gaming is of course fun, but still there are much more things in life we should pay attention. LOL. so let's not neglect them yea? :)

*some response from skype* alright, i guess that's all for now :D


p/s: this is an interesting month of sept.. let's go!

Life ..

wanna start by putting some awesome and inspiring life quote. then i realize.. life can't be summarized in a few words just like that? oh well.. just a random feel that hits me to update my blog and yet I am talking bout such heavy and boring stuffs .. perhaps life really does bore me out .. inside out ..

remember when we were young? we always told our parents 'I WANNA GROW UP QUICKLY' yet now.. all i wish is to rewind time and take back this statement.. it's never fun to grow up and face all these shit.. yes yes.. you may say i am being negative .. but the ugly truth is .. being positive with this realistic world will not give you any way out either.. deep inside.. you know this right? i guess the keyword here is .. survive. things may not be good and bright , but as long as you survive it, you will be fine right?

but still.. despite all these.. i think one belief i never move away from is God.. till now, i never stop believing .. in the midst of dark struggle.. i still believe and hope one day God will get me through everything (thou it's not always the case , LOL :X) but yea.. i never stop believing .. amen :)

so now.. the pre-monday depression is hitting me real hard .. time flies when we are having fun? feels like the weekends travel even faster than light =/ and is monday .. sighhhh . at least there's something to look forward to .. my sotong bestie , Christine is back and then she will be at another half of the world for her further studies.. oh yea.. i havent talk bout having someone dear living at another half of the world yea? whereby, your sunrise is their sunset , your breakfast will be their dinner .. it feels kind of awesome and amazing .. but still .. despite the high technology .. there will somehow be a breakdown in communication and that .. feels sucky..

so .. all of us.. being in the timezone.. is actually a gift from up there already :) counting all my blessing yea :D

at least, there's still something in life that keep me going day to day :) my friends and family

and this feeling of typing everything down actually feels quite awesome, i guess i shall do this more often yea?

p/s: my last update was on June.. and what happened these 2 month .. epic-ly dramatic? hahah. just like roller coaster rides .. although most parts of the rides were just going straight down and i still haven't reach that point of 'up'. will be soon i guess? haha

lastly, to all, keep breathing .. keep fighting .. be strong yea :)

No one..

How sad is it when I scroll down my contacts, finding people to talk and I realize there's no one now ..
For the rest .. either I dont wanna bother them with my problem or is just plain awkward or they simply dont care ...

what's with the sudden loneliness, is like i lost touch with everyone, all those whom i WAS so close to previously.. the feeling just sucks ="(

crying hard.. really hard .. 

Lead Me; Alone

thanks to brant's jie shao, sistar's songs really quite nice~ catchy~

Baby Steps

now i found the eng ver thanks to teck wee. LOL. so is a re-sing by TTS

Baby Steps

One, Two, my heart Three, Four, my breath Five,
Six, my entire body walks, only seeing you
One, Two, even now Three, Four, even today Five,
Six, even tomorrow, walk toward me

慢慢等

慢慢等 等到我都睡着了
耐心等只为了心动那一刻

p/s:　the title just sounds sarcastic in our language context now. LOL. it's like you asking people wait long long. HAHAH

雨后庭院

her performance never fails to make me awe. LOL. simply too impressed~

SPCO will be playing this song featuring our soloist, Chee Rui! it will be an orchestra ver thou! the zhong ruan 伴奏 is full of challenges and different techniques also!

Do catch us this 16/11 @ School of the Arts! Tickets will be available soon! *pardon me for the early publication for the concert but this song is simply awesome, that's why* =D

FAN GIRL

I don't wanna say goodbye, say goodbye say goodbye~




HOW SHUAI CAN THEY BE? <3 JUN HYUN OH GOSH~ *TOTALLY MELTZZ DURING 0:50*

so Darren asked 'So what's fan girl-ing?'

Me: 'Ermm, it means watching their MV or performance and get high'

Darren: 'get high?!'

Me: 'Yea, it's like you look at guys in MV and got the feeling of falling in love with him. LOL'

*everyone burst out laughing*

Sam: 'is true, Qi Xin's right'

EPIC SKYPE CONVO.

爱笑的眼睛

the mv like a bit wrong. LOL. oh well! but still a great song. HAHAHAH =X


 离开你 我才发现自己 那爱笑的眼睛
流过泪像一个人看旧电影 是我不小心而已
离开你我才找回自己 那爱笑的眼睛
再见到你我一定让自己 让自己坚定

:)

LOL

Just got a mini heart attack as I logged out of my google acc and cant seems to type in the correct password. LOL. thank God, i had the pwd reset, so yupp, i am back here =D

hmmmm, i did something not quite right =/ cant seems to find the right person to talk to about it =/ Oh God... but I know I been forgiven by God ~ if I were to tell others next time, we would just probably laugh it off~ let's just hope so~

anw anw, so in the mood to sing k after listening to JJ's songs! and just downloaded 爱笑的眼睛. it's gonna be on my replay list!

holidays ending soon and 7 months of internship starting. another new phase of life starting luh!! It will definitely be awesomeeeeeeeeeeee!

Possibility

Exploring my old phone's mirco sd card and retrieve this song. LOL. Boa is so pretty with short hair!

未だ揺れる振り子
最後の望みを辿る糸

Another Heart Calls

Do You Remember When We Didn’t Care
We Were Just Two Kids That Took The Moment When It Was There

Do You Remember You At All
Another Heart Calls

I Remember When We Stole The Night
We’d Lie Awake Dreaming Til The Sun Would Wash The Sky

Just As Soon As I See You
Didn’t I Didn’t I Tell You

As Deep As I Need You
You Wanna Leave It All

What Can I Do
Say It’s True
Or Everything That Matters Breaks In Two
Say It’s True
I’ll Never Ask For Anyone But You

Talk To Me
I’m Throwing Myself In Front Of You
This Could Be The Last Mistake That I Would Ever Want To Do
All I Ever Do Is Give
It’s Time You See My Point Of View

Just As Soon As I See You
Didn’t I Didn’t I Tell You
As Deep As I Need You
You Want To Leave It All

What Can I Do
Say It’s True
Everything That Matters Breaks In Two
Say It’s True
I’ll Never Ask For Anyone But You

All You Want Is To Figure It Out
And God Knows I Do To
What Can I Do
Say It’s True
I’ll Never Ask For Anyone But You

I’m Sorry
So What
But You Don’t Think I’ve Said Enough
I’m Sorry
I Don’t Care
You Were Never There

I'll Never Ask For Anyone But You...

Safe and Sound

caught The Hunger Games with my lovely research peeps! this movie is totally awesome! at least to me! cause i din read the book and hence will not compare the movie to the original storybook! The soundtrack is awesome too!

p/s: Be safe and sound :)

可能

可能放不下的不是你,
而是与你的那一段回忆.

awesome!

ahhhhhh~ it's soooo sweet! some ideas for the couples out there!
the song is nice too! enjoy!

when you say nothing at all :)

It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word you can light up the dark
Try as I may I can never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing

The smile on your face let's me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall
You say it best, when you say nothing at all

All day long I can hear people talking out loud
But when you hold me near (oh, hold me near)
You drown out the crowd (drown out crowd)
Try as they may, they can never defy
What's been said between your heart and mine

:)

Judgement Day

Hmmm. so I guess everyone must have gotten their results? How's it? Satisfied? Disappointed? or 'Ah, I could have do better!'

SP decided to troll us by sending us the results SMS one day before the official release day and it so happened that we are in school, figuring out the space project. *i was mapling at that point of time though LOL* Results came, open the SMS with really high expectation of myself. and yea the 2 B+ just slapped me right in my face =/

the rest would probably said, 'B+ is good enough le what', 'u sad what? i got D in my results slip leh'. they probably don't get it, B+ is not some thing in my dictionary. To me, only grades of  A and/or Distinction exist. Perhaps this is the mindset of most DBS students. Don't judge us, you will only understand if you were to be in our shoes. Almost the whole class is elite, you have to constantly fight to be exceptional or outstanding.

I will never forget that day back in year 1. We got back our maths paper.  the score 94 or 96 did not make me happy. Why? because the rest scored the near perfect of 99 or perfect score of 100. so not point being happy yea..

and Sam actually cheered me up ytd upon received our results =) she said, 'you are being too hard on yourself'. i was walking home that day and there's this sudden influx of tears =/ perhaps i really do..

but OH WELL!  the SMS is kinda a scam cause it did not reflect the accumulative GPA. so the email came after 12mn. i decided to change my mood cause the overall GPA still maintain at that holy number. LOL. hmmm. an advise to juniors is that you slowly pull up ur GPA till it's desirable instead of making it perfect in the first place and have a really hard time maintain or what's worst, watching the number decrease little by little every sem D:

so now, happygirl93 =) and i feel so lazy to practice =/ and then i will regret i am not able to play those beautiful pieces like yu hou during combined 2moro =____=

p/s: forever sleepy after lunch. LOL